MR. BIG


I've just watched yet another disc of Sex and the City. It is an abso-fucking-lutely great show!

They've converted me since the first disc of the first season.. and it only gets better!!!

I just finished disc 3 of Season 3.. and it had so many issues I could so relate to!!! ONE, in particular, struck me..


The whole Carrie-Mr. Big thing..


When Carrie and Miranda were fighting about Carrie meeting up with Big again, deja vu struck!

See, Carrie and Mr. Big have been together, on and off. He was a guy she was really serious with, whom she had lots of feelings for. But in the end, it was clear that he's bad for her. He's not necessarily bad, but just bad for HER. Yet, she still ran back to him again and again.

Now, I don't blame Carrie for that at all..

She didn't know why she did it..
She didn't know whe she allowed herself to get hurt over and over again..
She knew her friends wouldnt approve if she meets up with him yet again..
Yet.. she knew she had to.. wanted to..


It reminded me SO MUCH of a certain past I had.
I had MY Mr. Big.
He's not necessarily bad,
But he was bad for me,
yet I still ran in to him time and time again when he beckoned.
Young and innocent I was.


But that was a long while back,
Now I'm older,
Wiser.


I turn back and look at my past,
as though it was a tv show,
but instead of being the star in it,
I've climbed out of the tv set, (ooo, reminds me of 'The Ring')
and am now sitting on the couch, an audience,
watching history play itself on the screen as though it were a mere story.

with popcorn in my hand,
laughing at what a fool I was back then.
A masochist I was.


So much hurt and pain.
So much after-effects,
So much alteration to my personality.

No, I'll never get manipulated again.

Well, like Carrie in Sex and the City,
I had my girlfriends
who were there for me when I needed to talk,
or someone's shoulder to cry on.
KrysMelTina,
You guys have stood by me,
and I hope to do the same too..
You guys made the road easier to travel,
Less alone, More love.


I love Sex and the City.


(ppl who know me, please dont make silly assumptions about who my Mr. Big was! :D)
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BAD GIRL

Yesterday I tried something.
It turned out to be nothing.
All hyped up about nothing.
Maybe I didn't do it right.
Maybe the company wasnt right.
But I'd sure like to try it again properly with the right company!

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omg, I'm crying..

ok, that sounded strange..
Well, I just had to type stuff to get my mind off crying like a baby..

I hate crying..

It gives you the worst headaches ever!
Even a hangover seems like a brilliant option at this point of time.