Thursday, March 30, 2006

So what if THEY think I'm ugly?

Hah! Lack of blogging = improvement of social health :) as they are both inversely proportional!


Unfortunately, my improving social health has already suffered side effects - the increase of guys in my life seems threatening esp when LDR is in the equation.

In fact, what's even more threatening is that ALL my friends seem to be guys!

Yes, I know I might not be the best girlfriend in this sense.. coz for some reason, I have much much much more guy friends than girl friends.. the ratio is like 20:1 or something..

Not good, not good..I can imagine Mel waggin her finger at me, saying that, trying not to laugh coz I look so frantic, troubled..

Any normal girl/guy will feel extremely insecure if their partner is always hanging out with ppl of the opposite sex.

And I have failed to acknowledge that..

till he dropped the bomb.. and I sat there listening, with my tail between my legs, fingers tugging my ears while I'm doing jumping jacks..

I'm SOWEEE....

I'm not very sensitive.. That's good and bad, I guess..depending on how you look at it..

Good because..
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-I don't care if my bf ogles at other girls.. as long as I think they're hot as well.. otherwise I'd be pissed at how bad my bf's taste is!

-When someone says something bad about me in a long-winded, in-between-the-lines way, I'll still be happily sipping on my ice lemon tea listening sympathetically at what a bitch the friend is..hahaha.. OK, OK, no..that's not true.. but I'd be just sitting there nonchalantly..

-I'm totally oblivious to 'tension' between ppl, and so will still be skipping along, expecting them to chat happily with me and each other..

-I'm usually the last to know if any guy likes me/makes a move on me..

Bad because...Image hosting by Photobucket

-I'm oblivious to what I do and wont know if I've offended someone. (REALLY bad!)

-I am unusually cheerful when everyone's sombre and tensed.

-I don't get *hints* very well. Just tell me up front man!

-I'm usually the last to know if any guy likes me/makes a move on me..

Yes, I know that's no excuse to be a bad girlfriend, or friend for that matter..

To everyone I've hurt before in the past, I'm REALLY sorry..

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Sorry, sorry..*hand salute*

Will try my best not to hang out with my guy friends that much..

But, hopefully, with the exception of Alex, Dan and Jon?? Coz, really, they're more like my bros..

They're my stabilisers.. to make sure my reigns don't come off.. and that I don't run wild..

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with Alex and Jon. As we were on the bus back to SUV, Alex and I were standing at the front of the bus. Jon was sitting around the middle of the bus, right in front of the disabled area.

When we got off, Jon said to me..

The 2 girls sitting behind me at the disabled area were talking about you. They said you were UGLY

uh..ok.. thanks for telling me?? I replied.. I mean, what was I supposed to say, right?

Well, I just think they were pretty ugly themselves, and they were jealous of you.

That's not a very nice thing to say about them. And jealous?? WHY?!? For being UGLIER??

NO! For being better looking! Well, actually, they were talking rather softly and I heard the word 'UGLY' and they were looking in your direction.. They might be talking about your hair or something else..

Oh, ok..its alrite, I don't really care. They're entitled to whatever their opinion is. Hmmm, but, weren't there were like a gazillion other girls on the bus, why ME?

Coz they were probably jealous, Alex butted in.

You know, you guys don't have to console me.. Their comment doesn't really bother me.. I was just wondering, why of all girls on the bus, ME?

And that was a question left unanswered, which slipped my mind and flew off somewhere into the horizon after that discussion..till now, when I'm writing about this.

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My ugly face and a REALLY HUGE fist.. scared-a-not?

Honestly, I don't really care if a couple of girls thought I was ugly. Beauty is subjective. I don't think I'm a vision of beauty myself.

I know I'm not the most beautiful person on earth, but I don't consider myself utterly ugly as well. How my face looks, I can't change. So, why not be at peace with it??

Without ugliness, there would be no beauty.

I am comfortable enough with how I look.

If I'm not satisfied with a certain part of my body, I just see if there is any way to make it look better to MY standards or play with optical illusion.

I do it for MYSELF, to make MYSELF feel good.

NOT for anyone else.

And to know that I'm not bothered by the comments made by the 2 girls on the bus makes me feel good...

Why waste my time, effort and energy?

I wouldn't even blog about this if not to try and make a change to all other girls who might feel really insecure about their bodies and how they look.


When you feel good,
you're happy.

When you're happy,
you smile more.

When you smile more,
you attract more friends.

When you attract more friends,
your confidence is boosted.

When your confidence goes up,
you feel happy again.

See how it works?? So..


Damn, I feel like a motivational speaker! hahaa..


At 7:12 PM, Blogger miss vanity said...

hey maybe u should be a motivational speaker! like Dr. Phil! Bt only better.. coz i think u would make a better motivational speaker/problem solver (or whatever Dr. Phil does). O n u know what? i actually like your hair coz its not the normal boring plaing old rebonded straight hair.i guess beauty is really in the eye of the beholder

At 5:07 PM, Blogger S@iGoN said...

go shuen!!! promote body happiness!! ...if tht makes anny sense.. haha..

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