My favourite player!!!!


Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite


Fantasising about him and all.. until I was brought back down to earth with this..



He's married..DAMN!


Yes, I know that's old news back in 23rd Dec last year..
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ME? 21?


Zoe's friends were over at our place.. I was chatting to one of them while the other 2 went out for a while.

'So.. you're in 3rd year Med Sci?' he asked.
O_o ' No.. I'm in first year.. gonna be in 2nd year in July..'I replied, politely.
'Ohhhh.. ok.. '

We were randomly chatting about something.. which led to..

'I'm not even 20 yet, you know.'he said.
'Oh.. so you're like.. 19 this year?'
'I'm 19 now.. turning 20 in October..'
Excited about finding another year-end baby..I exclaimed..
'OH!!! OH!! Really?!??! I'm turning 19 in November!'
'WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?! O_O I thought you were.. older..'

Door opens. 2 other guys came in.

'Oh, btw.. that's Vincent kor kor there, you know.. the one we were talking about who's wearing his high school uniform?'
'Kor kor? I'm not that old right?'
'OH, guys.. guess what?? She's actually younger than all of us!!!So, yea, you're a kor kor!'

The other guys..

O_O'

Damn saddening.
Can cry wei.

Why don't I look 18??
Can someone tell me??

*sigh*

I've never been able to look my age..
even wayyy back from when I was 4...

At a very young age, I learnt how to sing, and was really proud about it. I ran around, showing off to everyone, only to find that no one was really impressed because I looked a few years older than my age and they EXPECTED me to know how to sing. Damn sad.


Then, when I was about 10-ish, I started 'blooming'. Yes, I was an early bloomer. Thing is, I was really embarassed about it and started shying away from compulsary swimming lessons at school as well as P.E. (Physical Education) lessons. Even when I was wearing my pinafore, which already consisted of 2 layers of cloth, I was still so self-conscious about it, I wore this faint yellow jacket ALL THE TIME.


I remember how I was ALWAYS one of the tallest in the girls' line (yea, I know, what happened right?!). My parents' friends would ALWAYS guess my age wrong! They'd ask me about secondary school, when I really was in primary. My record so far was being asked about COLLEGE when I was 12! Fuckin' eh!


At the age when all girls wanted to look cute and pretty, I was big and awkward. I always felt out of place coz I was SO huge compared to everyone else.

I was a very early bloomer, and at that age, that's a bad thing.
Its funny how I used to want to be shorter/have smaller boobs.. but now.. I wanna be taller, and I don't mind some plumped up boobs..

I'm the total physical reverse of the normal girl.

Since a really young age, I've always been expected to act older than my age, otherwise it wouldn't really 'suit' my physical appearance.

At the age when girls were still running around, playing with guys liberally because we still didn't know what 'gender differences' meant, I was pulled aside and told that its 'not nice' to play like that with guys.

At ballet classes, a few mothers confronted me and openly talked about my rapidly growing buds. It was SO embarassing! And you'd think they'd be discreet and nice about it right? but NOOOOOO... those b*****s had to chat about it and openly criticise me while looking at my chest.. as a group!

My pre-teen and early teen periods were very awkward. I looked absolutely horrible. Honestly!

My fashion sense was all over the place. I'd always wanna wear stuff my other friends were wearing, only I couldn't pull it off coz I was too big for that cute-sy look.

I was a 12-year-old trapped in a 16-year-old's body.

When I was finally 16, I hooked up with someone 5 years my age. When I came to uni, I hung out with ppl years older than me. It never felt awkward.

I guess being 'mature' is something I'm gonna be stuck with all my life.

If at my age now, I'm meant to squeal and act all coy etc, then I'm sorry, I'll NEVER be able to act my age.
If at my age now, I'm meant to walk awkwardly and be less self-confident about myself, then I'll never be able to do it.

Why can't I just look my age for once??

I'm REALLY worried that when I'm 30, I'll look 40.

Vanity, vanity, vanity...