Tuesday, February 07, 2006

'Because Good Gilrs Like Bad Boys' ???

After reading Kenny Sia's "Because Good Girls Like Bad Boys" and all the comments/discussion, it propelled my thoughts back to days when I was in school. Started thinking about what my preference in guys back then.

I DID remember thinking, back when I was in Form 2-4, that I would definitely prefer a bad boy to a good boy if I HAD to choose(yes, guilty as charged!). It seemed more thrilling, more exhilarating, to go out with a guy who's rebellious, who does things he wants to do without thinking about it, who thinks that rules are meant to be broken.

There was something oh-so-sexy in that swagger of a rebellious guy. There were fantasies of being swept off my feet onto that sexy bike of his. (Of course, the idea of being able to wear sexy black leather pants and jacket was just as appealing!Hehe..)
Image hosting by Photobucket
Soo, wanna take a ride with me on my bike, sexy?

Then there's also the idea that he would bash another guy up if the other guy so much as looks at me lustily, because "Nobody can touch my girlfriend..NOBODY!*snarl*". Of course, he would say that AFTER he has won the fight and has one leg on the other guy.

I liked a bad boy who fights with another guy who likes me during court, hoping to win my heart. I was done with all the "Alrite, I'll back off because the other guy likes her because I don't think I have a chance/he's my friend" that I'd heard over and over again. I liked a guy who fights to win something or someone he wants so badly, and in the above scenario, that's ME (and..uh...provided I did like him too!).

Image hosting by Photobucket
Gang fight

A guy like that who stands to protect and claim what he loves (or rather, feels very passionately about, because he probably wasn't capable of love back then) is sexy. Very MACHO. Or so I thought.

Then I grew up and I was all big and more mature. But still in my teens.

Just straying away from the topic for a while, I think that most girls, at some point or other, wants to get together with a 'bad boy' or a 'playboy' in hopes of making him 'good'. To be THAT GIRL who tranforms him. THAT GIRL whom he loves so much til he sacrifices all the others for her. Fat hopes! A guy who's a playboy will most probably never know the meaning of monogamy.

Anyway, through the years' experiences(cheh, speaking like I've got damn lotta experience!), I've decided that I don't want guys to ever fight over me/because of me. I've decided that guys who resort to violence are hooligans. I think that guys who drink all the time, every single week and end up in fights are wasting their time and money. I don't have anything against guys who drink or smoke, but there has to be a certain extent for everything! I still want my guy to still feel protective of me, but to a small extent.

I still want my guy to fight for me, but he gains my UTMOST RESPECT if he does it in a 'gentle-manly' way. I wouldn't see him as a wimp. No, no, no. He's got manners and courtesy, that's what he has.

Image hosting by Photobucket
See! That's a guy who has manners!

To have class and dignity is more important than fists and uncontrolled anger. To have manners and courtesy more important than foul language and ignorance. To have great intellect more important than stupidity(??).

I feel most stimulated (mentally, mind you!) when I enjoy a glass of wine at dinner, exchanging views over a wide range of intellectual topics. I like it when a guy has in-depth knowledge about a fair share of topics, no worries if he knows much more than me. I enjoy learning. Let me share an experience.

I was never a 'computer' person til I met a software engineer undergrad at USyd who was doing his thesis. He never talked about his thesis the first couple of months I knew him. He came across to me as a very sociable guy, a flirt, who can wrap a few girls around his fingers at once, without even trying. Indeed, I found out soon after that he had more admirers than Don Juan de Marco.

Image hosting by Photobucket
Don Juan de Marco.

Anyway, after a little prodding, he told me that he has learnt from a long time ago that ppl get turned off when he starts talking about computers, so he promptly never brought them up in social conversations. Upon my request, he launched into lengthy discussions about his thesis, patiently explaining to me technical things when he was designing a 'search engine'. I've never tried to absorb anything that quickly in my life! What a challenge!

I never knew ppl earned money from the internet(yea, you must be saying 'wah, this girl so stupid one ar?what era she born in?'). He patiently explained to me how there were endless possibilities. Suddenly the internet seemed to me a vast unlimited space of knowledge and opportunities.

In Msia, the only real intellectual conversations were held with my dad. We update each other on new technology(mobile phones esp!), cars, world news, local news, politics, sports..etc. We'd discuss and debate over these issues. I'd love those conversations.

Image hosting by Photobucket
F1 !! One of our more passionate conversations..

OK, my point is, I enjoy intellectual conversations. And I hardly consider myself a nerd. I love going out, having mindless fun, socialising, partying, clubbing, dressing up, shopping, doing things all girls do...but I STILL need intellectual stimulation.

Of course, if you're highly intellectual and you talk about deep things all the time when the girl has no idea about what you're talking about, then spice things up with doing a little something 'fun'. Show her you're capable of loosening up as well. Show her that you DO know how to have fun!

With that said, I wouldn't want a guy who's so intellectual all the time. It probably will make me uptight and stiff after a while. Someone who knows how to balance both would be a gem. Put on your 'Bad Boy' alter-ego once in a while. Just try not to take it too far!!

But I think that beyond AAALLL the intellectual stimulation and AAAALLL the bad boy-ness, there is ONE very important thing that makes relationships work.

Connection beyond all things physical.

As long as you have a connection with her, and never feel tired/bored of each other, then you know you've hit the jackpot.

If you know that you can talk to each other without ever running dry of things to say, then you know she's THE ONE.

If you know that you can talk to each other, and NOT feel awkward during silences, then you know she's something special.

If you know that you are not only attracted to her looks anymore, then you know you love her for who she is, which is truly the essence of a relationship.

As they say, body and looks will fade, so the only thing that really keeps a strong relationship together is each other's company.

Image hosting by Photobucket

So, yes, bad boys have a shelf life. 'Good' or 'well-balanced' guys have a better shot in the long run. Although, all hope is not lost if 'bad boy' finds someone he can truly connect with.

Just before I end my lengthy entry, I would like to clarify that I am NOT speaking on behalf of the female race. These are just a little snippet of MY PERSONAL thoughts on this matter.

Of course, you don't have to take what I've said seriously. I am much less experienced than many older than me.

I am, after all, only 18.


At 7:06 PM, Blogger Wingz said...

18 !!! fresh flesh wei !!!! *slurps* lol

At 9:22 PM, Blogger cheng sim said...

then again, did u read Kenny's last words to guys about how men shld be players too and cheated with any girl they wished besides their gf? still, his blog is really good.

At 9:59 PM, Blogger narrowband said...

I read Kenny's entry yesterday, and then came across Otto's entry just now, before ending up here at your site. Well-written.

Now if only there is a questionaire or some test to gauge my level of 'bad-ness'.............

At 4:04 AM, Blogger Kenny Sia said...

cheng sim, huh? since when did I encourage cheating?

I encourage men to not give in easily to girls and overpamper them, but I never encouraged cheating.

At 6:30 AM, Blogger Yoong Wei said...

Wow, Kenny's post got everyone blogging about it. Anyhow, just to let you in on a guy's perspective; when I start talking about my research, girls usually fall asleep. (either that, or fall dead foaming from their mouths)

Even the most intellectual girls I know prefer to know 'what I ate for lunch' than 'a breakthrough in my research project'.

At 4:44 PM, Blogger Jo said...

i read the kenny's post too..
well, he/she does have the angel and evil side within oneself..
it depends on how to balance it up..
there's no wrong or right to like a good/bad boy or gal. :)
most important point is able to communicate and share the thoughts together instead of nothing to share about. imagine facing each other for years have nothing to say huh?

At 3:39 AM, Anonymous Women leather jackets said...

nice post love it
Womens Leather Pants


Post a Comment

<< Home

Sign my Guestbook from Bravenet.com Get your Free Guestbook from Bravenet.com